Natural Niamat

How to stop being angry with the former

There is nothing worse than the betrayal of a person who, it would seem, had to love us stronger than all. Somewhere in the concept of love, a belief is laid down that partners will protect each other’s interests. To love someone, you need to trust this person, such things are not easy. Therefore, when trust is trampled, anger is a completely normal protective reaction. How to learn how to control these emotions, says cognitive psychotherapist Jenis Wilhauer.

The wound, inflicted by betrayal, is sometimes addictive for too long. If you hold on to resentment, it can become poisonous and interfere with moving forward. When the bitterness that arose due to the actions of another person holds you at a dead end, this means that he or she still controls your life. So how to let go of anger?

1. Recognize it

Anger is an emotion that often causes people discomfort. You can adhere to

the following beliefs: “Good people are not angry”, “The anger is unattractive”, “I am above such emotions”. Some go to extreme measures to drown out this negative feeling. Often such steps are associated with self -destructive and unhealthy behavior. But, avoiding anger, they do not help her leave.

The first thing to do to let go of anger is to accept it, come to terms with him. When someone does not treat you well, violates personal boundaries or does something offensive, you have the right to be angry with. A sense of anger in such situations suggests that you have a healthy level of self -esteem. Understand that anger appears here to help you. He signals that you are in a situation that is not in your interests. Often, it is emotions that give the courage to complete an unhealthy relationship.

2. Express it

This is a difficult step. Perhaps in the past you had to suppress anger until it broke through one big explosion. Later you spared about it and made a promise to continue to keep such emotions even deeper. Or you were criticized for an open manifestation of anger.

Let’s clarify: there are healthy and unhealthy ways to express emotions. Unhealthy can harm you and your relationship with other people. The expression of anger in a healthy way is what many are fighting. But allow anger to come out is an important part of the liberation from this negative feeling.

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